Authentic.

I just smoked. I am drinking a beer. Jazz radio is in tune. Yet I have no words. For all intends and purposes, I am wordless. Why am I wordless? Is it because I seek reality. And I am confused if anything is real. Authentic or genuine, if their is anything, what would it be. I want to think of myself as a sophisticated person. I listen to Jazz, I enjoy alcohol and often I smoke, which I do not really like. It feels phony, yet i am compelled to smoke. I blame TV. Authentic has to be new and fresh but all I see is twisted and blended into writer’s style but it is not authentic. May be I seek false and I am living with false notions.